HONG KONG – Wealthy City of the Many Poor

Hong Kong is the city of paradoxes par excellence. Hosting the most famous global financial institutions, it is known all over the world as Asia’s financial hub. Yet, the wealthy Hong Kong only represents a minuscule fraction of the city; nestled around Central, Southern Hong Kong Island, or West Kowloon (to name a few).

The vast majority of Hong Kongers, the Hong Kongers we choose not to see, the Hong Kongers that didn’t give the city its glorious status in the world, the Hong Kongers that don’t matter, on the other hand, represent -by far- the bulk of the population. Massed mainly in Kowloon and the New Territories, they are Hong Kong’s torn in the flesh. Well, not exactly, in fact. Because, however poor they are, they remain remarkably tame.

And considering their numbers and just how poor they are, this is quite astonishing. Poverty rates in Hong Kong are high. Very high. Horribly high. According to the Census and Statistics Department, in 2018, a staggering 20.4% of the population (1.406 million people) lived in poverty before any intervention of the Policy Effectiveness in Poverty Alleviation. And, after said policy intervention, the share of the population that remained in poverty… still reached a mind-blowing 14.9% (1.024 million people)[1].

Poor population and poverty rate in Hong Kong (2009-2018). Source: Hong Kong Poverty Situation Report 2018, p.23.

You may think that those high poverty rates are the result of a poverty line that was set very high. And you would be sadly mistaken. If anything, the poverty threshold in Hong Kong is ludicrously low. As a matter of fact, in Hong Kong, the poverty line for a 1-person household was set at $4,000HKD per month (in 2018), and $10,000HKD per month for a 2-person household[2].

Poverty lines by household sizes in Hong Kong (2009-2018). Source: Hong Kong Poverty Situation Report 2018, p.21

In comparison, the national poverty lines in the United States for the year 2018 were set at $12,170USD per year ($7,897.76HKD per month) for a 1-person household, and $16,460USD per year for a 2-person household ($10,681.67HKD per month)[3]. In Germany and France, for the year 2018, the respective poverty lines were set at €13,098EUR and €12,180EUR per year ($9,498.40HKD and $8,832HKD per month) for a 1-person household[4] (no data for 2-person households was available).

Those numbers show that, compared to other first-world countries, the poverty line in Hong Kong is set ridiculously low. And yet, notwithstanding those low thresholds, 20.4% live under the poverty line. Or, put otherwise, 1.406 million people live with less than $5,000HKD ($640USD) per month. How is that possible?

Now, how come the poverty line in Hong Kong is so low compared to other first-world countries? To answer this question we must first understand how the poverty line is determined. In the member states of the European Union, for instance, the poverty line “is set at 60 % of the national median equivalised disposable income (after social transfers).”[5] In Hong Kong, on the other hand, the poverty line is “set at 50% of the median monthly household income before policy intervention (i.e. before taxation and social welfare transfer).”[6]

As such, both Hong Kong and the member states of the European Union use a similar Relative Income Poverty Lines. Yet, the threshold varies differs dramatically between Hong Kong and the European countries. This is especially the case when comparing the poverty line in Hong Kong with the thresholds in West European countries.

What this means, in fine, is that the median household income in Hong Kong is much lower than in other first world countries. Bear in mind that poverty thresholds in the European Union are set after taxation; whereas in Hong Kong poverty thresholds are set before taxation.

If you think that this lower median income in Hong Kong reflects a lower cost of living in relative to the United States, Germany or France, you’d be sadly wrong. Sort of. Life in Hong Kong is indeed very cheap… as long as you don’t take into account housing. Once housing is factored in, however, life in Hong Kong becomes excruciatingly expensive. 

In fact, a 2019 study by the Economist Intelligent Unit concluded that Hong Kong was the most expensive city in the world alongside Singapore and Paris[7]. And a survey by Demographia International Housing Affordability points out that, as of 2019, Hong Kong, topped the ranking of most expensive housing markets in the world “for the ninth straight year”[8].

The ten most expensive cities in the world. Source: Worldwide Cost of Living 2019, p.2.

With a Median Multiple (“median house price divided by the median household income”[9]) of 20.9, not only was the housing market in Hong Kong the least affordable in the world, it literally obliterated the market in Vancouver, Canada which ended with a Median Multiple of “only” 12.6[10]. Needless to say that, with such terrible figures, Hong Kong is ranked among the Severely Unaffordable housing markets. In fact, it is by far the most severely unaffordable housing market in the world.

Housing affordability (Major Markets; 2004-2018). Source: 15th Annual Demographia International Housing Affordability Survey: 2019, p.11.

Real Estate firm CBRE came to the same conclusion in April 2019. With an average property price of $1,235,220USD ($9,619,603HKD), Hong Kong ended ahead of Singapore, which average property price reached a respectable $874,372USD (6,809,404HKD)[11]. That is, nearly $3,000,000HKD less than in Hong Kong.

Average property price (USD). Source: Global Living 2019, p.6.

Now, what do all those numbers mean? Well, according to Midland Realty, it means that in 2019, you’d pay, on average between $14,000HKD and $17,000HKD per square foot… in the poorest districts in Hong Kong (Sham Shui Po, Kwai Tsing, Wong Tai Sin, and Kwun Tong)[12].

Putting those numbers in parallel with the poverty rates we saw earlier on, it means that, for one Hong Konger in five, one square foot of an apartment in the poorest districts of Hong Kong represents three to four months of earnings. Now, just to make sure there is no misunderstanding, let’s rephrase this. We’re not talking about three months of savings; but three months of earnings! For one square foot. In the poorest neighborhoods.

Let that sink in: three to four months’ worth of earnings to buy one square foot in the poorest neighborhoods of the city. Just for argument’s sake, it would take those 20.4% of Hong Kongers living below the poverty line nearly half-a-years’ worth of earnings to afford themselves… one square foot in Wan Chai.

With such absurd numbers -three months to buy one square foot in the poorest districts- needless to say that inequality rates in Hong Kong have gone through the roof. And that is a euphemism. The inequality rates in Hong Kong are even more horrendous than one might imagine.

If 20.4% of the population of Hong Kong lives below the poverty line, Hong Kong also boasts the highest density of ultra high net worth (UHNW) people (i.e. “individuals with $30m (USD) or more in net worth”[13]) in the world with 1,364 ultra wealthy individuals per million adults in 2018. Well ahead of Switzerland, which ranked second with “only” 848 ultra wealthy individuals per million adults[14]. This equated to a total of 8,950 ultra high net worth people for a total Hong Kongese population (at the end of 2018) of 7,486,400[15]. Or, in other words 0.12% of the population.

Top 10 UHNW countries per capita (2018). Source: World Ultra Wealth Report 2019, p.14.

To put those numbers in perspective, in Hong Kong, 0.12% of the population had a net worth of $30 million USD or more (nearly $233,600,000HKD) in 2018, whilst 20.4% of the population lived with roughly $5,000HKD per month (or less). In the United States, which is known for its high inequality rates, only 0.024% of the population had a net worth of $30 million USD or more; and “only” 11.8% of the population lived in poverty[16].

More striking, perhaps, is the case of Switzerland. In 2018, with 848 UHNW people per million adults, Switzerland was home to the second densest UHNW community in the world behind Hong Kong. In absolute numbers, this represented 6,145 people or 0.072% of the Swiss population.

On the other hand, the Swiss Federal Statistics Office indicated that in 2017, 8.2% of the population lived in poverty[17] (against 20.4% in Hong Kong). Bear in mind, though, that in Switzerland the poverty threshold was set at 2,259CHF per month ($18,147HKD per month)[18] for a single-person household, against $4,000HKD per month in Hong Kong, the most expensive city in the world.

It is readily obvious from the abovementioned numbers that inequality in Hong Kong is going to be mind-boggling. And the Gini coefficient -a measure of statistical dispersion intended to represent the income or wealth distribution of a nation’s residents- confirms just that. With an index of 53.9 (0=perfect equality; 100=perfect inequality), Hong Kong is ranked 9th most unequal economy in the world[19].

It is noteworthy that the city is surrounded, in the ranking established by the CIA, exclusively by African and South-American countries -and Papua New Guinea- that are infamously riddled with corruption and/or poverty. For your information, out of 159 assessed economies, the United States is ranked 39th (coefficient of 45.0), which is not great either; and Switzerland is ranked 135th (coefficient of 29.5), which is quite remarkable.

To sum it up, in Hong Kong, poverty rates are tremendously high, notwithstanding a poverty threshold that has been set very low. The housing market in Hong Kong is head and shoulders above its competitors in the ranking of least affordable markets in the world. Inequality rates in Hong Kong are matched only by countries with rampant corruption and/or poverty.

With such horrifying figures, the situation is ripe for large-scale revolts all over the city. In fact, the situation has been ripe for wide-spread revolts for years now. In no country in the world would the population have let the situation reach such extremes with such passivity.

Yet, in Hong Kong, no one seems to be bothered by the high poverty rates. Or the horribly unaffordable housing market. No one demands changes. Or, rather, Hong Kongers would like changes, but with such lack of passion and urgency that decision-makers don’t feel compelled to take immediate and drastic actions.

Quite the contrary. An article published by the Cato Institute in 2004 sheds light on the Legislative Council’s ambitions for Hong Kong. Then financial secretary Henry Tang “emphasized that the underlying principle guiding future development should be that the ‘market leads and the government facilitates.’”[20]

As a matter of fact, according to both Fraser Institute and the Heritage Foundation, Hong Kong was the freest market in the world in 2017 and 2018 respectively[21][22]. Fraser Institute further indicates that Hong Kong has been the freest economy since 1990; whilst the Heritage Foundation concluded that Hong Kong has been the freest market ever since they started publishing their annual Index on Economic Freedom, 25 years ago.

The six free economies (overall score over 80) according to the Heritage Foundation (2019). Source: 2019 Index of Economic Freedom, p.18.

The Cato Institute pointed out that “Hong Kong has been able to make the transition to a service economy because of its flexible labor (…)”. Otherwise put, because labor in Hong Kong is not (was not?) very specialized. Or, to use crude words, the economy of Hong Kong back in 2004 was based on unskilled -cheap- labor. 

It is a secret to no one that Hong Kong’s policy is geared entirely toward the economy. What’s good for the economy is good for Hong Kong. What’s good for the capital owners is good for Hong Kong.

But in 2015, already, the South China Morning Post (SCMP) pointed out the limits of the so-called laissez-faire policy dear to the Legislative Council. “(…) the working class who only have labour capital have seen their real disposable incomes stagnate. Housing conditions are poor, with the less fortunate living in shelters resembling slums in less developed economies. Our public hospitals are overcrowded, and standards are falling in our public schools.”[23]

This is particularly clear when studying the evolution of poverty rates in Hong Kong. Between 2009 and 2018, poverty rates have dropped by a measly 0.2% (before policy intervention) and 1,1% (after policy intervention), which translates the government’s im-passionate involvement in social matters.

In the meantime, the Midland Realty Property Index has increased from 69.29 (December 2009) to 161.01 (December 2018)[24]. That is, a 132.37% increase. Cumulative inflation in Hong Kong over that same time-period, on the other hand, was 31.7%[25].

In comparison, cumulative inflation over the same time period was 1.5% (!) in Switzerland[26]; 8.6% in France[27]; 10.9% in Germany[28]; 13.8% in the United States[29]; and 20.1% in the United Kingdom[30]. And in China, which has witnessed a mind-blowing yearly growth in GDP over the last thirty years, cumulative inflation rate between 2009 and 2018 was only 22.0%[31]. Well behind the inflation rate in Hong Kong.

In those ten years, the poverty line in Hong Kong has only been leveled-up by 21.21% (1-person household) and 44.93% (2-person household).Those figures show that the poverty line for a single-person household in Hong Kong did not follow the same trend as the inflation and the Property Index.

The poverty line for a two-person household, however, rose faster than the inflation rate, which is good news. But, considering the Property Index rose by a whopping 132.37% over that time-frame, it is obvious that Hong Kongers living below the poverty line were worse off in 2018 than they were in 2009.

More telling, perhaps, regarding the lack of involvement of the Legislative Council in social matters, is the fact that the Minimum Wage Ordinance wasn’t voted before January 2011, and didn’t come into effect before 1 May 2011 at a staggering hourly rate of $28HKD (Ordinance Cap. 608; Sch. 3[32]). Since then, the hourly minimum wage rate has been revised four times and, as of 1 May 2019, the minimum wage in Hong Kong is set at $37.5HKD ($4.82USD). This represents a 34% raise since 2011.

As a comparison, minimum wage in the State of New York, USA is set at $15.00USD ($116.78HKD) per hour[33]; in Vancouver, Canada -second most unaffordable housing market according to Demographia International Housing Affordability- as of 1 June 2019, minimum wage is $13.85CAD ($83HKD) per hour; in Switzerland -second highest density of UHNW people in the world according to Wealth-X- minimum wage is 2,200CHF per month (approximately $100HKD per hour); in Germany -largest economy in Europe- minimum wage is set at €9.19EUR ($80.22HKD) per hour[34] as of 1 January 2019; and in France, €10.03EUR ($87.56HKD) per hour as of 1 January 2019[35].

It is, further, noteworthy that in most European countries, contrary to Hong Kong, minimum wages are revised once a year. As such, as of 1 January 2020, minimum wage was set at €10.15EUR[36] ($88.61HKD) and €9.35EUR[37] ($81.74HKD) in France and Germany respectively (for example).

One may think that minimum wage is low in Hong Kong because Hong Kongers are the beneficiaries to a first-grade social security system, but nothing could be further from the truth, as can be seen from the high poverty rates. Remember the words from former financial secretary Henry Tang: “market leads and the government facilitates.”[38]

As mentioned previously, Hong Kong is the freest economy in the world, which means that the government does not regulate the market. This, consequently, also means that both corporate and personal tax rates are very low. In fact, Hong Kong’s corporate and personal tax rates are among the lowest in the world.

As a result, Hong Kong’s government revenues are not as high as one may expect from such a thriving economy. With revenues amounting to $560,000,000,000HKD in 2017[39], Hong Kong’s budget amounted to only 31.5% of the budget of Switzerland that same year (221,806,285,000CHF[40][41] or $1,776,117,339,000HKD). Or, if we take into account the 1,000,000 population difference between both countries, Hong Kong’s government revenues still only amounted to 35.7% of the Swiss government revenues for the year 2017.

Now, Switzerland is the perfect Western country to compare Hong Kong with. Not only is Switzerland the Western country most similar in size, population-wise, to Hong Kong (8.5 million inhabitants in Switzerland for 7.5 million inhabitants in Hong Kong); in 2017 both countries also recorded the exact same GDP per capita -$61,400USD- according to the CIA World Factbook[42].

And yet, in 2017, social security in Hong Kong only represented 14% ($501,000,000,000HKD) of the government’s expenditures[43]. In Switzerland, however, social security amounted to 87,284,522CHF ($698,736,776HKD) in 2017, whilst total expenditures reached 216,179,286CHF ($1,730,642,087HKD)[44][45]. In other words, social security in Switzerland represented 40% of the total government’s expenditures.

Remember that in 2017, in Switzerland only 8.2% of the population lived under the poverty line[46], which was set at an astronomical 2,259CHF per month ($18,147HKD per month)[47] for a single-person household. In Hong Kong, 20.1% of the population (in 2017) lived under the poverty line, which was set at a measly $4,000HKD per month for a single-person household. 

To make this comparison even more compelling than it already is, 15,0% of the population in Switzerland was considered at-risk-of-poverty in 2017 –i.e. earning less than 30,018CHF per year ($20,022HKD per month)[48]. Otherwise put, the proportion of the Swiss population that lived below the at-risk-of-poverty threshold was lower than the proportion of the Hong Kongese population that lived below the poverty line.

To be considered at-risk-of poverty, the monthly earnings of a Hong Konger may not exceed $4,800HKD[49](1/4th of the Swiss threshold). And, in 2017, no less than a quarter (25.9%) of the population in Hong Kong -1 person in 4- was considered to be at-risk-of-poverty before recurrent cash intervention and 22.1% was still at risk after intervention[50]. In 2018, those figures had risen to 26.5% and 20.6% of the population respectively[51].

At-risk-of poverty rate and poverty rate in Hong Kong (2009-2018). Source: Hong Kong Poverty Situation Report 2018, p.102.

Just for the sake of argument, if the Swiss at-risk-of-poverty threshold (30,018CHF per year or $20,022HKD per month) was applied to Hong Kong, no less than 58% of the Hong Kongese working population would be considered at-risk-of-poverty (54% if we domestic helpers are excluded from the calculation)[52].

Bear in mind, again, that Hong Kong is the most expensive city in the world in which to live. Yet, somehow, the poverty line and at-risk-of-poverty threshold are set ridiculously low.

As a consequence of the low thresholds, the requirements to be eligible for social security, in Hong Kong, are ridiculously low as well. And the allowances one has right to follow suit, obviously. In Hong Kong, the Comprehensive Social Security Assistance Scheme (CSSA) “provides a safety net for those who cannot support themselves financially. It is designed to bring their income up to a prescribed level to meet their basic needs.”[53]

And by “basic needs” they really mean basic. Other than legal requirements, applicants’ assets may not exceed $32,000HKD for single able-bodied adults or $48,000HKD for single children, disabled people, and the elderly. In the case of families, the asset limit depends on two factors: the number of members; and the number of disabled or elderly members. Either way, the asset limit remains horrifyingly low[54].

In other words, to be eligible to the CSSA Scheme, one’s total possessions cannot exceed what the overwhelming majority of Gweilos in Hong Kong earn in one month (or even less). Needless to say that with such a low threshold, as of 31 October 2019, only 220,775 Hong Kongers (3% of the population) met the requirements to have right to the CSSA Scheme[55].

People above the age of 65 and severely disabled people can also apply to the Social Security Allowance Scheme (SSA) provided they are “not in receipt of (…) assistance under the Comprehensive Social Security Assistance Scheme.”[56] And, as is the case with the CSSA Scheme, the threshold to be eligible for the Normal Old Age Living Allowance (for people aged 65 and above) is set ridiculously low: a limit of $343,000HKD in assets and/or a monthly income of $7,970HKD for a single person; and a limit of $520,000HKD in assets and/or a combined monthly income of $13,050HK for a married couple. To be eligible for the Higher Old Age Living Allowance, on the other hand, the asset limits are set at $150,000HKD and $227,000HKD for a single person and a married couple respectively. Monthly income limits, however, remain unchanged.

Now, bear in mind that those are people who have worked their entire lives we are talking about. Possessing assets of such low value after 40 years of hard labor proves that recipients of the SSA Scheme earned too little money in their working years to be able to save anything.

And, as of 31 October 2019, a staggering total of 557,765 elderly people -41.86% of the population aged 65 and above- were the recipients of Old Age Living Allowances (Normal & Higher combined). And, if we include the recipients of Disability Allowances and Guangdong or Fuijan Scheme Allowances, that number rises to a total of 988,685 people[57]. That is, 13.14% of the total population of Hong Kong.

What those figures indicate is that, in Hong Kong, to be eligible for social security -CSSA or SSA- you must be poorer than poor. Literally. People living right below the poverty line are still considered too wealthy to be eligible for those Schemes. Indeed, recipients of the CSSA Scheme and the SSA Scheme combined only add up to 1,209,460 people; or 16.23% of the population of Hong Kong. Far from the 20.4% of the population who live below the poverty line.

For the “lucky” ones whose applications are accepted, the allowances they can claim are not very high, though. Regarding the CSSA Scheme, the maximum a person can hope to receive from the government is $6,535HKD per month. And that person would be a single disabled child -as defined by the Social Welfare Department- who requires constant attendance[58]. 

As a matter of fact, depending on the degree of the disability (and other factors), disabled recipients of the CSSA Scheme can receive allowances ranging from $3,510HKD to $6,535HKD. Able-bodied recipients of the CSSA Scheme, on the other hand, cannot expect more than $1,810HKD (able-bodied member of a four-member family) and $3,050HKD (able-bodied single child) per month[59]. 

Although, on top of those basic allowances, they can also apply for a limited range of so-called supplements which amount to $285HKD to $355HKD. And an annual long-term supplement of $2,240HKD (single person) or $4,480HKD (family comprising two or more members who are old, disabled, or in ill-health) “is payable to families involving any member who is old, disabled or medically certified to be in ill-health for the replacement of household and durable goods if they have received assistance continuously for 12 months or more.”[60]

Under the SSA Scheme, however, allowances range from $1,385HKD (Old Age Allowance) to $3,585HKD (Higher Old Age Living Allowance). Bear in mind that those allowances are designed for people aged 65 and over with very limited assets and a monthly income limited to $7,970HKD for a single person. How one can pay -the most modest- rent, food, and medical bills -that come with old age- with such limited resources remains a mystery.  

All those figures depict a bleak social landscape of Hong Kong. And yet… And yet, against all odds, Hong Kong is one of the safest cities in the world to live in. In fact, in 2019, the Economist Intelligence Unit ranked Hong Kong 20th safest city in the world overall. And 4th safest city in the world when it comes to personal security[61].

Of course, one could mention the protests that have been shaking the city in the latter half of 2019 and in 2020. However, those were political protests. Not social protests. Studying said protests from closer up, one notices that the social situation in Hong Kong played absolutely no role in the unrest. None of the Five Demands protestors held so dearly were related to social issues. And never did the protestors ask for social improvements. No, their demands were strictly political.

In fact, notwithstanding the poverty that has always been rampant in Hong Kong, never have Hong Kongers revolted against their living conditions. The revolts of 1956 between Nationalists and Communists; the revolts of 1967 between Communists and the British ruler; the protests of 2005, 2010, 2014, and 2019-2020 were all politically motivated.

To be totally fair, though, we must mention the Occupy Central movement of 2011-2012, which was a socio-economic demonstration. But with only a few hundreds of participants it never gained any traction in Hong Kong.

The fact is that Hong Kongers have never complained about their living conditions. No matter the terribly high poverty rates, Hong Kongers do not budge. No matter how ridiculously low the minimum wage, Hong Kongers do not budge. No matter how ridiculous the social security in the city, Hong Kongers do not budge. No matter how high the inequality, Hong Kongers do not budge.

Truth be told, one must salute Hong Kongers’ resilience toward… the unacceptable. No matter how you turn the figures provided by the government and other organizations, the social situation in Hong Kong is catastrophic: 20.4% of the population living below the poverty line; 26.9% of the population at-risk-of-poverty. A social security that is a joke. Or, to verbalize it more accurately, a direct and blatant insult thrown at the face of the poor. And yet…

What would it take for the Hong Kongers to realize that they are being taken advantage of? What would it take for the Hong Kongers to finally say “enough!” Hong Kong is not a poor city. Far from. In fact, Hong Kong boasts the 17th highest GDP per capita in the world averaging $61,400USD[62]. Well, needless to say that the 26.9% of Hong Kongers who are at-risk-of-poverty do not benefit from that high GDP per capita.

The funny thing is that Hong Kongers love money. The Hong Kong Jockey Club, for instance, has branches all over the city and the yearly turnover hits record after record; with a record turnover of $247.5 billion HKD in 2019[63]. Said money, obviously, comes from Hong Kongers who dream of winning the lottery. Yet, no Hong Konger would think to demand the money that they rightfully deserve.

No, let’s be serious, that would require too much effort. It’s much better to throw your money away at the lottery. And leave it up to the incredibly unfavorable odds of 1 in 13,983,816 or a chance of 0.000007% to win Mark 6, for instance? Better than to fight for better working and living conditions, apparently.

And year after year, in Hong Kong, the wealthy become wealthier. And year after year, the poor become poorer. And more numerous.

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[41] Includes revenues at Confederation, Canton, and Municipal levels.

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[46] https://www.bfs.admin.ch/bfs/en/home/statistics/economic-social-situation-population/economic-and-social-situation-of-the-population/poverty-and-material-deprivation/poverty.html. Last retrieved on 3 January 2020.

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HONG KONG – MTR Etiquette

Train entering the MTR station in Ngau Tau Kok, Kowloon. 8 January 2020. Photo: Gweilo Rant.

Hong Kong is home to the most efficient subway system in the world, boasting a 99.9% on-time rate. As an efficient system, needless to say it was neither designed nor built by Hong Kongers, but by the British (design & drivers’ training); the Japanese (construction); the French, Germans, and Americans/British (signalling); and the Australians, South-Koreans, Japanese, Spanish, and Europeans/Americans (rolling stock).

The Hong Kongers later expanded the system based on the solid foundations laid by the British and Japanese, but still under the supervision of a British-Italian designer (Roland Paoletti). On top of that, one must note that since the handover, in 1997, Chinese companies have bullied their way into supplying the MTR with their own rolling stock.

Nonetheless, the MTR is a very interesting place to study the behaviour of Hong Kongers in a restraint environment. And, contrary to the I-don’t-give-a-fuck attitude that can be observed above ground, in the MTR an I-kinda-give-a-fuck attitude (if it’s in my interest) arises.

Now, it is a very happy coincidence that the MTR happens to be the most efficient subway system in the world. Or, perhaps it is no coincidence at all. Hong Kongers being not the greatest walkers in the world (this is a euphemism), the British government in Hong Kong may have been encouraged, in the 1960s, to come up with a system to speed things up. And speeding things up, it does!

Alas, however efficient the MTR may be, the Hong Konger must add his personal touch of inefficiency to that well-oiled machine at any cost. See, most escalators in MTR stations will lead you to the central portion of the platform.

Once on the platform, though, Hong Kongers being Hong Kongers, they will pile up in front of the nearest gate, making it look like the station is packed. But… very often, you’ll only need to walk to the front-car or the end-car to board a nearly empty car, while people in the middle cars are packed like sardines. Sometimes to the point they cannot board the train altogether. Hong Kong’s inefficient laziness at its best!

Enough talking about Hong Kong’s inefficiency. Let’s see how they make up for that lack of efficiency. See, although slooow AF, Hong Kongers turn into the greatest sprinters in the world every time a train reaches an interchange station in which two connecting lines are located on either side of a same platform (Prince Edward or Admiralty for instance). In fact, if the start and finish lines of the 100-meter dash were located on either side of an MTR station, chances are Hong Kongers would pulverize Usain Bolt’s world record.

Once arrived on the other side of the platform, Hong Kongers show another side of themselves. They have to be first. First at the gates. First on the train… And that usually implies not listening to the announcement that anyone living in Hong Kong has heard millions of times in Cantonese, Mandarin, and English: “Please let passengers exit first.” Who are you kidding? Letting passengers exit first would negate the whole purpose of running to be first at the gates.

No, let’s be serious. If they arrived first at the gates, they’ll be first on the train, no matter how many people are trying to get off the train. Alright, I’m slightly exagerating, here. They usually give passengers one second and a half to unboard before they storm in. And, hopefully, they’ll reach the Holy Grail of the MTR (nay, of Hong Kong): a seat! And if a person in need boards the train? Well, fuck them. Why didn’t they run to get there first? He’s got three broken legs and his head has been chopped off? So what?

Although, in all fairness, this last statement is not exactly true. If that person in need is lucky enough to board a car in which a foreigner (from just about any country) or an old man is sitting, then they’ll get a seat. In any other case… Well, she may be pregnant, they may be holding a sleeping infant in their arms, they may be 200 years old,… who gives a fuck?

Old man standing on a packed train as no one offers his seat. Kowloon Tong, Kowloon. 8 January 2020. Photo: Gweilo Rant.

On the contrary. Once a Hong Konger has found a seat in a crowded train, he adopts the default stance for such situation: phone in your hands, head bent over your phone. This enables the sitting Hong Konger to ignore any person in need, pretending they didn’t see them (thank you Steve Jobs for this godsend).

Now, if finding a seat is the Holy Grail, most people on the MTR will have to travel standing. And even then do they manage to act like a bunch of headless chicken. When boarding the train, why would you try to move inside the train when you can simply pile up in front of the doors?

I mean, sure you’d have more room to move if you stood further inside the train, but you’d also have to make at least three or four more steps! Who are you kidding? Three more steps? I didn’t get on the train to make any more steps!

Besides, moving inside the train would deprive you from the joy of standing in the way of the passengers trying to exit the train at the next station, or playing your favorite game: wriggling your way inside the train while people try to push their way past you and out of the train; like a salmon swimming against the current during the mating season.

Or you could also make one step out of the train to let passengers unboard and then get back in. But, let’s be serious, one foot out of the train and you may lose your spot, isn’t it? It’s not like those people exiting the train are creating extra room on the train… erm… Hold on, something doesn’t add up here… Ah, dammit, fuck logic!

While we’re at it, some of those trips on the MTR may be really long. And if all seats are taken, why not create your own seat? Yes, you heard me right. You can create your own seat on the MTR. You’re in Hong Kong, after all. Anything is possible. All you have to do is stop giving a fuck and take a seat on the floor. The epitome of class. Now, granted, this doesn’t happen too often. But still more often than you’d imagine.

Anyway, you made it to your destination. You squeeze your way past that guy who is so adamant about staying put in front of the doors; and you’re out of the train. You thought that was the end of the Hong Kongese inefficient laziness, didn’t you? How cute.

Your next mission is to get out of the station. Now, getting out of the station is not an issue as such; but you better not be in a hurry. Or you better be lucky. First, you’ll have to reach the escalator. Either you follow the flow, in which case you’ll have to switch to zombie-mode. Or you try to slalom between hundreds of slooow Hong Kongers. Not an easy task since, on top of being slow, they are unable to walk in straight lines.

Alright, you reached the escalator. If you’re feeling lazy, stick to the right hand side and the escalator will get you to the concourse. If you’re not in the mood to waste time idling on the escalator, get on the fast-track, on the left hand side of the escalator. If you’re among the first people to reach the escalator, walking up the escalator shouldn’t be a problem.

In any other case, you’ll definitely get stuck behind an I-don’t-give-a-fucker who simply stopped on the left hand side. Yes, the escalator may be over a century old, some Hong Kongers still haven’t understood that simple concept: stand on the right; walk on the left. Put like this, it does sound like rocket science. Or does it? And, obviously, Hong Kongers being Hong Kongers, no one would think/dare to ask that person to move aside so as to keep the way clear for other people.

Oh and, last but not least, there’s always those surprize events that can appear at any time with or without notice. Well-oiled machines are very fragile; one grain of sand can derail an entire system. However, let’s give credit where credit is due. The MTR Corporation usually copes very well with said “grains of sand”. In fact, most systems in Hong Kong cope rather well with the unexpected.

Problems, in Hong Kong, usually never stem from -fully or semi-automated- systems, but from the Hong Kongers themselves. If, for one reason or the other, there is a disruption on one of the MTR lines… get ready for a trip to sardine-land. In such situations, Hong Kongers forget about the concept of lining-up. The moment a train arrives in the station, they’ll rush their way past you and force their way inside the train.

Yes, the MTR is an incredible piece of engineering. Probably the greatest subway system in the world. Yet, Hong Kongese logic -or lack thereof rather- prevents the MTR from reaching optimum efficiency. Or the most basic form of courtesy. Or, usually, both at once.

HONG KONG – I’m a Pussy. So What?

Waiting for the train during the Empty-R in the midst of the 2019-2020 Protests. Prince Edward, Kowloon. 13 November 2019. Photo: Gweilo Rant.

If war erupted somewhere, Hong Kongers are probably the last people on Earth I would rely on to save the country. Not that they are particularly weak compared to people elsewhere in the world. As a matter of fact, it has little to do with their physical prowess. But, observing Hong Kongers in the street, in shopping malls, or at work, it is readily obvious that Hong Kongers are not exactly the archetype of resilience.

Now, one may argue that Bruce Lee or Jackie Chan -to name a few- were/are famous martial artists from Hong Kong. And it is true that Hong Kongers, like anyone else in the world, can train to become ruthless fighters. The aforementioned actors/fighters -as well as numerous other Hong Kongese martial artists- have proven that point time and again. The fact is, however, that the average modern-day Hong Konger is quick to run away from the slightest adversity.

If Hong Kongese martial artists such as Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan have popularized martial arts in the West, you will never –never- see any display of martial art -or any other form of combat- in the streets of Hong Kong. Of course, it may happen that people disagree in the street, in which case they will shout at one another. And part ways. And leave it at that. But fight? Ne-ver!

When you bump into someone on the sidewalk, they usually don’t even turn around to apologize or demand an apology. They’re usually too busy not giving a fuck for an apology. Occasionally they may utter a subtle “aya” (哎吔) to mark their displeasure. On exceedingly rare occasions, they may even shout “diu lei lo mo” (𨳒你老母; fuck your mother), in which case you’ll only have to make eye contact to see them turn around and run away.

In fact, Hong Kongers never come to blows. Truth be told, though, solving issues without feeling the need to resort to violence should be regarded as a model of social cohesion. Yet, in the case of Hong Kong, it is not. Hong Kongers may shy away from fighting, but they never solve any argument either. They get insulted and they accept it; they get disrespected and they accept it.

As a matter of fact, it seems Hong Kongers don’t even have the least respect for themselves either. This is most obvious every time a typhoon hits Hong Kong. The moment signal T3 is hoisted, after a typhoon, Hong Kongers flock to the nearest MTR station to hurry to work, like lemmings. In such situation it would come to no Hong Konger’s mind to say: “sorry boss, but I’m not wasting 2 hours in traffic just to get to work, and 2 more hours to get back home.” No, T3 means they have to get back to work.

The worst part is that Hong Kongers themselves are fully aware they are their bosses’ little puppets. In the aftermath of typhoon Mangkhut, which hit Hong Kong on 17 September 2018, the below posters for two fictional movies spread like wildfire on the social media in the city. Those images depict the Hong Konger’s relation to work better than the hundred-or-so words I just wrote about it. And they come straight from Hong Kongers themselves!

Posters of fictional movies released in the wake of typhoon Mangkhut in Hong Kong. 17 September 2018. Source: Hong Kong Free Press.

Now, those are only but a few examples of the Hong Kongers’ incapability to fend for themselves in social situations. Case in point, in 2018 poverty rates reached a staggering 20.4% in Hong Kong; and 26.9% of the population is considered to be at-risk-of-poverty. That is, more than one in four Hong Konger! In the meantime, Hong Kong is also the ninth most unequal economy in the world, alongside African and South-American countries in which corruption and poverty reign supreme.

Yet, Hong Kong boasts one of the lowest levels of social unrest in the world (the protests of 2019-2020 being strictly political; not social). How 26.9% of the Hong Kongese population accepts to live in quasi poverty -in an extremely rich city- without revolting still blows my mind. But, well, perhaps that’s for the best for us, Gweilos, who can amass an unspeakable amount of money in a city riddled with poverty (yes, this is blatant sarcasm).

Now, if being social pussies was not enough, Hong Kongers also show very high levels of pussiness regarding… the weather. In fact, unfavorable weather conditions are yet another perfect example of the Hong Konger’s low level of resilience. Or is it higher sensitivity? Either way, said conditions don’t even need to be unfavorable, really for Hong Kongers to go full pussy-mode. For Hong Kongers equally shy away from any type of weather condition. Good or bad.

Rain, for instance, is the Hong Konger’s absolute nemesis. Half a drop of water falling from the sky and the entire city falls in disarray. Umbrellas shoot in the air faster than a bullet leaves the muzzle of a gun. And once the umbrellas are out, get ready to either show off your best evasion moves, or get your eyes poked out. Oh, and, of course, don’t expect a “sorry”. This is Hong Kong, after all.

If that was not enough, Hong Kongers being Hong Kongers, once they reach the exit of an MTR station and realize it is raining -they wouldn’t have realized it from the people entering the MTR station with wet umbrellas- their world comes to a standstill. And they wait for the rain to abate. There, at the exit of the station. And they pile up as more people reach the exit. Oblivious to the people trying to get through.

On the bright side, though, as Hong Kongers try to find refuge under overhangs, Gweilos can now freely walk in the drizzle unhindered by the slooow Hong Kongers who, astonishing as it sounds, manage to walk even slower in the rain.

Now, Hong Kongers hate rain. They also hate its opposite: the sun. And, on sunny days, umbrellas shoot open as well. Oh, yes, didn’t you know? Hong Kongers need umbrellas to walk in the sun. They carry an umbrella… to walk under the sun. Yes, one needs to repeat this sentence a few times to fully grasp the nonsense of the situation. It sounds even more nonsensical in French; as the French word for umbrella –parapluie– literally means rain-parrier. Oh, and, of course, as was the case with umbrellas under the rain, beware your eyes.

It must be noted though, that Hong Kongers are afraid of the sun for social reasons more than for health concerns. In Hong Kong, a tanned skin indicates that you’re working in the fields. On the contrary, a pale skin means you don’t. And this actually makes sense. European Gweilos think the same way. Or, rather, they used to think the same way… back in the eighteenth century.

Don’t be fooled by the appearances, though. Umbrellas on sunny days are far from the most ridiculous thing you’ll see in Hong Kong. See, temperatures can soar well past the 30 degrees centigrade mark in Summer. Unbearable to a Hong Konger. And, let’s be honest, the humidity that comes with it makes it unbearable to the Gweilos as well.

Anyway, as a result of the heat, in the mid-2010s portable fans became all the rage. Children and adults alike carried those fans everywhere, incapable to withstand the heat that Gweilo managed, somehow, to tolerate. Those small fans looked utterly laughable but, little did we know that was not the Hong Kongers’ limit regarding ridicule.

Toward the end of the 2010s, holding a fan in one’s hands had become intolerable. In came the neck fans. Now Hong Kongers could remain cool whilst keeping their hands free to watch that all-important TVB show or play that greatest-game-ever on their smartphone. And a new level in ridiculeness was reached. Or just another day, as it is called in Hong Kong.

Now, Hong Kong is a very hot and humid city in Summertime. Hong Kong Winters, however, can be very chill, as it is not unheard of for temperatures to plummet to 10 to 15 degrees centigrade (50 to 60 degrees Fahrenheit). Yet, in Hong Kong, air-conditioners run 365 days per year. Because, you need to understand that Hong Kongers… wait for it… cannot breathe in enclosed environments.

Yes, you read it right, Hong Kongers cannot breathe in rooms with no air-conditioning. They must be the only people in the world unable to breathe without air-conditioning. In the dead of winter. As a consequence, in Wintertime, people wear jackets, coats, and scarves inside, at their desks. Yes, in Hong Kong you freeze inside rather than outside.

Of course, Hong Kongers will tell you that air-conditioning helps regulate the humidity. But with an average 70% relative humidity and temperatures below twenty degrees centigrade in Winter, the argument is rather weak. In fact, the argument is downright fallacious as any Heat Index shows. Well, truth be told, said Heat Indexes won’t show anything since they don’t go as low as twenty degrees centigrade (and under). Besides, to lower the humidity in cold environments it would make more sense to heat up the room than to cool it down. Just saying. But, well, Hong Kongers and logic are not the best friends in the world.

However, be it in Summertime or in Wintertime, it seems Hong Kongers are quick to catch a cold. Either that, or the number of hypochondriacs in Hong Kong is very high. Walking around in Hong Kong, it is impossible not to run into people wearing surgical masks to avoid the spread of germs, or be infected with said germs.

And yet Hong Kongers manage to be sick as often (if not more often) as Gweilos who very rarely wear masks. How that is possible remains a mystery. Either those masks are useless (great marketing scheme by the mask manufacturers), or Hong Kongers really are quick to catch a cold. Or… could it be Gweilos are incredibly resistant to the common cold?

HONG KONG – The Sidewalk

A sidewalk in Hong Kong. Sham Shui Po, Kowloon. 28 December 2019. Photo: Gweilo Rant

You may wonder: “The Sidewalk? What’s there to talk about?” And yet, in Hong Kong, The Sidewalk could very well be the title of the most terrifying horror movie. Forget about The Shining. Forget about The Exorcist. In Hong Kong, there is nothing more terrifying than the sidewalk.

See, the sidewalk, in Hong Kong, is not just a nightmare; it is a nightmare on different levels. Nightmares that are closely interlinked. A kind of Inception turned sidewalk, if you like. So much so that, finding out where to start this article is a nightmare in itself.

Now, the title of this article may be misleading. When talking about the sidewalk, we’re talking about any pathway in Hong Kong, really. That is, any place where people can walk (including MTR stations, supermarkets, shopping malls, etc.).

You would think that the main reason walking in Hong Kong is such a nightmare derives from the fact Hong Kong is an overcrowded city. If overpopulation certainly plays a role in this nightmare, it is not the main reason that makes walking in Hong Kong such an ordeal. No, the main issue lays in the walking skills of the Hong Kongers, which are… below non-existent. You didn’t know that was possible, did you? Well, the Hong Kongers did it.

Here’s a quick overview of (some of) the Hong Kongese quirks that make any expedition onto the sidewalk an adventure comparable to a blend between Indiana Jones and Night of the Living Dead.

  • Speed. Any Gweilo who spends a few weeks in Hong Kong will make the same observation: Hong Kongers are slow. And I don’t mean they are “just” slow; I mean they are really slooow. Supernaturally slooow. In fact, in order to fully convey how slow Hong Kongers are, I have no other choice but to use an expletive: Hong Kongers are slow as fuck! Slow to the point you end up wondering how they manage to ever reach their destination. Now, in itself, that shouldn’t be an issue. If people want to walk slowly, it’s their business, after all. But as we mentioned earlier on, Hong Kong is an overcrowded city. And so are Hong Kong’s sidewalks. As a result, overtaking people is not an easy undertaking. Even more so when you take into account that Hong Kongers have become experts at:
  • Drifting. Well, Hong Kongers didn’t exactly become experts at drifting. Not on purpose, at least. Their drifting is simply the consequence of their inability to walk in a straight line. As you’re ready to overtake a slooow Hong Konger, be ready for said Hong Konger to shut the door. Try the other side and he’ll invariably shut the door on that side. The only possible strategy in such situation? Back off, anticipate his next move, and overtake from the side he’s about to leave open. This strategy works all the time because Hong Kongers lack any form of:
  • Spatial awareness. Out on the sidewalk, Hong Kongers have no idea where they are. They have no idea where they go. Sometimes it seems Hong Kongers lack both peripheral vision and 3D vision. Bumping into one another is commonplace. No one ever turns around to apologize or demand an apology in such situation. Cutting people’s way seems to be the only sensible option when turning left or right. Turning behind people -and avoiding said people to have to take evasive actions- has never crossed a Hong Konger’s mind. Looking for incoming traffic before exiting a store is also something Hong Kongers struggle with. Well, perhaps I’m exaggerating here; they do not struggle in the slightest. They simply don’t give a fuck. And if that wasn’t enough, Hong Kongers’ horrendous spatial awareness is further exacerbated by:
  • The smartphone. The apparition of the smartphone on the streets of Hong Kong has had a dramatic effect on the -inexistent- walking skills of the Hong Kongers. With their eyes glued to their screens, watching the latest TVB show, playing some super-very-important game, or messaging their wives whether they should buy toilet paper, Hong Kongers are now connected to the virtual world, yet completely disconnected from the real world surrounding them. The result is that they managed to turn the impossible into reality: they now walk even slooower than they did before, which is quite a remarkable feat. Further, the drifting has turned into zigzagging. And the spatial awareness… well, it was nowhere to be seen to begin with, so nothing has changed in that department. Something else that didn’t change with the apparition of the smartphone, though, is the Hong Konger’s inability to:
  • Pick a side. You’d think that, in an overcrowded city, people would have realized that consistently walking on one side of the sidewalk would make for a smoother trip. Not in Hong Kong. In Hong Kong people walk on the side they happen to be on. Sometimes they end up on the left hand side of the sidewalk; sometimes on the right hand side; but most of the time somewhere in between both sides. Don’t look for any logic, here. There is none. This leads to people bumping into one another, people shoulder-dancing to avoid incoming traffic. Eventually, though, some geniuses (Hong Kong boasts the highest average IQ in the world, I kid you not) realized that walking like Hong Kongers slowed down traffic. As a result, they came up with a system of arrows painted on the walls or on the floor of MTR stations to indicate which side of the pathway people should be walking on. Alas, there is only so much a Hong Konger can think of. And consistency is not something our geniuses spent too much time thinkering about. Sometimes they painted the arrows on the left hand side of the pathways; at other times, on the right hand side. Hong Kongers, being easily confused in their natural state, got utterly discouraged. But does it really matter since nobody gives a fuck about those cryptic symbols anyway?

Taken separately, each one of those Hong Kongese quirks would remain unnoticed. The problem is that, in Hong Kong, they all come together, as a package. To make matters worse, those are only but a few of the Hong Kongers’ aggravating habits on the sidewalk.

Now, the aforementioned Hong Kongese quirks on the sidewalk are particularly memorable simply because you have to endure them… on a daily basis. Well, every time you get out on the sidewalk, in fact.

However, some days of the year, this horrorshow gets exacerbated. Every Sunday -and public holiday- the South-East Asian helpers are generously given a day off by their Hong Kongese Masters. And since they have nowhere to go, they end up crammed together on the sidewalks, and on pretty much every pathway or park in Hong Kong, making the walkable area of the already narrow sidewalks… well, even narrower.

Moreover! Given we are talking about Sundays and public holidays, there are more people in the streets than on weekdays as well. Consequently, every Sunday, you end up with more pedestrians trying to make their way on narrowed down sidewalks. A nightmare turned hell.

And… we’re not done yet with the sidewalks! Every time it rains in Hong Kong, or when -God forbids- the sun is shining, umbrellas pop out. If you have never stepped foot in Hong Kong you may wonder: “An umbrella? When the sun is shining?” See, you need to understand that Hong Kongers are afraid of the sun. Yes, you read correctly, they are afraid of the sun.

Anyway, rain or sun, out come the umbrellas. This means you’re going to have to fight your way through a forest of umbrellas. And Hong Kongers being Hong Kongers, they don’t exactly give a fuck about other pedestrians. So, walk carefully if you don’t want your eyes to be poked out.

And… we’re still not done with the sidewalk! I warned you: the sidewalk in Hong Kong is a nightmare on innumerable levels. To paint a more complete picture of the sidewalk in Hong Kong, one could also mention the obsession Hong Kongers have with grazing (to the point of bumping into) people, even when the sidewalk is five meters wide and empty (which happens late at night); their infuriating habit to stop smack in the middle of the sidewalk; people bicycling on the sidewalk (which may or may not be legal in Hong Kong, the law is not clear on that point); people pushing carts on the sidewalk; people waiting for the bus taking up one full meter-and-a-half of the sidewalk; etc.

Oh, and did I mention that Hong Kongers are slooower than a rheumatic snail?

HONG KONG – Craftsmanship? In Hong Kong, We Don’t Need… Craftsmanship

Sidewalk renovated after November 2019 protests. Mong Kok, Kowloon. 7 December 2019. Photo: Gweilo Rant.

If Hong Kongers built cars, you would end up with gaping holes in your windscreen; the door handles would feel wobbly; tires would sometimes come off the wheels for no reason… but that wouldn’t be an issue because the transmission axle would be too short to connect the engine to the wheels anyway. And, if on top of that, it was designed by the same breed of designers who design buildings in Hong Kong… be ready to drive one clunky metal cube on wheels with the engine probably mounted on top of the hood so that everyone can enjoy the (lack of) craftsmanship put into your car.

Transposed at city-level, that is exactly what you get in Hong Kong: a poorly built city with all its flaws readily visible. See, building a city does not require extreme skills. Thousands of cities in third-world countries will prove that point. Building first-rate cities, however, does require skills and talent. Something Hong Kong… doesn’t lack, but chooses not to capitalize on. Case in point: Central. And especially the area surrounding Chater Garden. Architectural marvels such as the Bank of China Tower, Bank of China Building, HSBC Building, or the freshly renovated Court of Final Appeal (to name a few) cradle the park.

Now, what sets those buildings apart from the overwhelming majority of structures in Hong Kong -other than their architectural significance- is the attention to detail and craftsmanship that was put in the building of those edifices. The walls are smooth, the floor is perfectly level, not the least inch of crude concrete is apparent, air-conditioning units don’t leak, etc. It took Hong Kongers high-end buildings to show the level of skills Westerners put in… just any building.

Alas, one must note, though, that the above-mentioned buildings were all designed by Western architecture firms. With the exception of the Bank of China Tower, that is, which was designed by Chinese-American architect Ieoh Ming Pei, who studied architecture in… the United States of America, of course. But, well, at least, there are a few buildings in Hong Kong displaying a high level of craftsmanship, albeit not Hong Kongese craftsmanship.

However, leave the Central-Admiralty area, and Hong Kong shows a very different face. Whether you cross a wealthy neighborhood or a poor area, the level of craftsmanship put into pretty much anything is equally abysmal; the only difference between both being the types of shops and restaurants you will come across. But the buildings themselves, are identical. Now, in all fairness, one must admit that Hong Kongers build strong structures, capable of withstanding typhoons. But then again, four thick concrete walls, on top of which another thick layer of concrete, acting as a roof, rests, you’d better hope it will resist any type of weather. Esthetic appeal, on the other hand, took a back seat in Hong Kong. If the owner of the building feels generous, though, he may perhaps add a thin layer of paint on said concrete. But only one layer! And don’t expect any primer.

The question remains, though, how about the plumbing? And the electricity? And the air-conditioning? Well, when it comes to the plumbing, you can either hide the pipes inside the walls or you can bolt the pipes on the outer part of the walls. Westerners opt for the first approach; Hong Kongers opt for the second approach. The result, is not exactly what one would call elegant.

Elegantly concealed plumbing and air-conditioning units in a residential estate. Ngau Tau Kok, Kowloon. 4 December 2019. Photo: Gweilo Rant.

The advantage of the Hong Kongese approach over the Western one, however, is that it only requires bolting skills to affix pipes to the wall. This means that it is also easier to find someone -just about anyone- in the street who can bolt a few pipes together rather than an actual, trained professional plumber.

Funny anecdote, in Paris, one building -the Centre Pompidou- was built with its plumbing apparent… on purpose. As a stylistic statement. And it is widely regarded as one of Paris’ ugliest buildings. In Hong Kong, it would be regarded as yet another building.

Hong Kong buildings are horrible from the outside. Perhaps that’s because they put all their energy in crafting comfortable and cozy interiors, you may think. And you’d be… lightyears away from reality. In Hong Kong, what you see on the outside is a mere reflection of what you get on the inside. The electric wiring -which would get any decent electrician a triple heart attack- looks like it has been put together by a madman; the Internet wiring is sheer mayhem; etc. “And the plumbing?” you’d ask. Well, in housing estates, you won’t find trace of plumbing inside buildings. Surprised? Now, think about it; there can’t be pipes inside said buildings, since all the pipes were stuck on the outside of the buildings.

In commercial buildings, however, were some attention is brought to the outer look of the building, what you don’t get on the outside you’ll get on the inside. Next time you go to the restaurant (any restaurant), or any shop for that matter, look at the ceiling. The amount of effort put in the decoration of the ceiling is… non-existent. In fact, in 99.9% of the restaurants and shops, you’ll have a clear view on kilometers worth of plumbing and cables. And the air-conditioning units, in all likelihood, would be fixed to the ceiling by means of four rods and a few bolts. Beau-ti-ful! Ex-qui-site!

Now, if you don’t want to look up, you can always look down. At the sidewalk or at the road, for instance. Most sidewalks date back to the British era and, consequently, look pretty good. However, the demonstrations that defaced Mong Kok, in November 2019, give us a glimpse at the level of craftsmanship Hong Kongers put in their constructions/renovations. Wherever the pavement has been damaged by the protesters, a quick and dirty slab of concrete has been poured. And when I say quick and dirty, I really mean quick and dirty. So much so that in various places in Mong Kok you will now see footsteps printed in the concrete; which gives said sidewalks a sorry look. Oh, and, of course, don’t expect the new sidewalks to be smooth or level. You’d be sadly disappointed.

Still under your feet, every time you cross the street, there is the road -obviously. Now, the quality of the road in itself is not too bad. But don’t drive too fast, though, in which case you’d feel each and every bump, manhole cover, and patch in the road. Granted, I am nitpicking here. The road is perfect for the speed it was designed for.

The road markings, however, are a totally different story. Next time you cross the street, give a closer look at those markings -although you’d see what I mean from afar. In the West, those markings are perfectly flush with the road and the edges are sharp. In Hong Kong, on the other hand, said markings are raised by one or two centimeters -not on purpose- and the edges are kinda sharpish -keyword here is kinda.

Road markings in Hong Kong. Prince Edward, Kowloon. 28 December 2019. Photo: Gweilo Rant.

You’d think the Hong Kong policy may demand, for some reason, said markings to be raised by a few centimeters. Well, stop flattering the Hong Kongese law-makers. Immediately. They don’t give a fuck about such details. Those markings are raised… well, simply because it’s the consequence of the painting process. Speaking of which… the painting process… Oh, my fucking God -there is no other way to convey such horrorshow.

If ever you happen to stumble upon workers painting said markings, watch them work for five minutes. You’d think you’re watching people in some remote third-world country using whatever means at their disposal to complete their task. One man is usually melting some material in a tin can, using a blowtorch. A second man then pours that thick paste haphazardly where they are supposed to paint lines. Now, when you pour thick paste onto a hard surface, it slightly flattens out, but keeps a bulging shape (Physics 101). Well, so do road markings in Hong Kong. A far cry from the “high-tech” painting trucks used in the West.

HONG KONG – Born to Be Lazy

Tray left behind on a table at McDonalds in Choi Hung. 13 December 2019. Photo: Gweilo Rant.

No need for a lengthy introduction. Let’s get to the point right away: Hong Kongers are lazy. Lazy as fuck. It may not seem so, considering the city is always bustling with activity. And yet, that extra activity is needed precisely because Hong Kongers are lazy. Or perhaps because Hong Kongers don’t give a fuck about anything? Probably a bit of both. But in this article, we will focus on the Hong Kongese laziness. What do I mean? Let’s answer this question with a few examples:

  • In all McDonalds or Starbucks in the world people clean up after themselves when they are done with their meal or coffee. Not in Hong Kong. When a Hong Konger is done with his meal, he stands up, and leaves. And that’s it. How about his trash? He leaves it on the table, obviously. This means that McDonalds in Hong Kong needs to hire personnel found in no other McDonalds in the world: a tray-cleaning person dedicated to cleaning up tables. All day long. Simply because Hong Kongers are too lazy to do it themselves. Now, one must be fair. Some Hong Kongers try their best not to be too lazy and do bring their tray to the trash can. And that’s it. They bring their tray to the trash can. The final action -throwing the trash in the trash can- somehow remains too difficult a task. So, they drop their tray full with cups and empty boxes on top of the trash can. Which, in turn, makes it impossible for other people to put their empty plates where they should. If that’s what cleaning up after yourself means, Hong Kongers, just remain full-on lazy.
  • When Hong Kongers do the groceries, they need a shopping cart (or, as is more common in Hong Kong, a shopping basket). Like everyone else in the world. They fill their basket with groceries then go to the nearest checkout counter. Nothing extraordinary so far. The fun is only about to start. As soon as they have spotted the employee at the counter, their lazy-reflexes kick in. They then deploy a wide array of tools found in their laziness-arsenal. In any other country, people would put their groceries on the conveyor belt, wait for the cashier to scan the products, and put them in a bag. Not in Hong Kong, obviously. That would be too much effort. In Hong Kong, customers drop their basket in front of the cashier, who has to pick each product one by one from within the basket and scan them. And who puts the groceries in the shopping bag? Not the customer, of course! No, that would be the cashier’s job as well. The amount of time wasted is colossal. But, hold on! The laziness doesn’t stop there! In any civilized country one would bring back his cart to the cart corral. Again, not in Hong Kong. In Hong Kong, you simply leave your cart there, at the checkout counter, to pile up with the carts from previous customers. The corral may be only ten meters away from the checkout counter but, who gives a fuck? Bringing the cart back won’t benefit you in any way, since you’ll be gone. So, why make the extra effort? Consequently, as is the case at McDonalds, supermarkets in Hong Kong need to hire people specifically dedicated to the gathering and corralling of said carts. Hong Kongese laziness at its best!
  • Walking is tiresome. And walking up stairs is even more tiresome. Unbearably tiresome. Ask any Hong Konger. I can guarantee 100% of them will confirm. As a result, when Hong Kongers see an elevator, an escalator, and stairs side by side in MTR stations, a small proportion of the people -much larger than any sane person would expect, though- will choose the elevator. The rest will invariably opt for the escalator; and no one will opt for the stairs (truth be told, unless there is a long line at the escalator, neither would any Gweilo). Now, of course, you’d expect the elderly, pregnant women, parents with strollers, disabled people, or people carrying heavy suitcases or boxes to take the elevator rather than the stairs. It would make sense. However, in Hong Kong, young people will gladly waste time lining up for the elevator rather than to take the escalator as well. So much so that, in MTR stations, a “priority lane” had to be painted in front of the elevator doors. But, of course, in Hong Kong, nobody gives a fuck about those hieroglyphs painted on the floor. One may wonder, though, why youngsters prefer waiting for minutes to stand in an elevator rather than to immediately stand on the escalator. The logic still evades me. But, hey, this is Hong Kong we’re talking about: the land that logic forgot.

The frightening part here is that said laziness is not acquired at birth, in which case Hong Kongers would have a valid excuse for being lazy. No, in Hong Kong, parents consciously teach their children to be lazy. Well, not exactly consciously as Hong Kongers never do anything consciously. But let’s just say that Hong Kongers show their children how to be lazy.

Don’t believe me? Well, have you ever seen a child with a school bag on his back? Unless you work in a kindergarten or primary school, chances are tremendously great you have never seen any. And for one simple reason: once children put a foot out of school, their parents, grandparents, or helpers take over the burden. Children in Hong Kong never carry anything. No-thing. Ne-ver.

In fact, children in Hong Kong never do anything unless they are explicitly told to. This means that, at school, children will do what their teachers tell them to do. But at home, very often, their homework is done directly by their parents, who are too lazy to take the time to help them find the answers on their own. Anything else they -or their parents- have to do will be taken care of by the helper. As a result, children quickly understand that whatever they have to do will eventually be done by someone else.

This naturally brings us back to the examples mentioned earlier. Nobody ever told Hong Kongers to clean up after themselves at McDonalds or Starbucks. So, why would they? Nobody ever told Hong Kongers to bring back their shopping carts to the cart corral. So, why would they? In fact, more than simple laziness, this is a perfect example of the Hong Kongese intellectual laziness. See, Hong Kongers never think further than what the immediate situation requires. As a result, they come up with the easiest and labor-least-intensive answer to every situation they encounter, which may have detrimental effects later on.

It seems Hong Kongers do not realize that their laziness causes extra congestion in an otherwise already heavily congested city. See, Hong Kong is an overcrowded city as is. And so are all McDonalds and Starbucks in the city. By not cleaning up after themselves, Hong Kongers prevent the next customers from readily finding a seat, since they have to wait for the tray-cleaning person to clean up the table.

This creates extra waiting time, which leads to unnecessary congestions. But then again, Hong Kongers simply don’t give a fuck. After all, they’ll be long gone by the time the next customers look for a seat. And even if they were not gone by that time, they still wouldn’t give a fuck.

The problem is that Hong Kongers are too obtuse to understand that, due to everyone’s behaving the same way, they will sooner or later be the ones stuck with their meal in their hands, waiting for a table to be cleaned up. Same reasoning goes for the shopping carts at the supermarket. And they will be stuck in lines waiting for the elevator in MTR stations because too many people are too lazy to climb one floor… or even down (as is the case in Ocean Park MTR station, for instance).

Now, those are only three examples of lazy behavior in Hong Kong. And, of course, taken separately, each and every occurrence of laziness is harmless. The problem is that each Hong Konger is lazy hundreds of times and in hundreds of different ways every day. And there are about 7.5 million Hong Kongers displaying similar behavior. Added up, this laziness hurts the city.

To top it off, the best part, perhaps, is that Hong Kongers, in their quest for ultimate laziness, often end up spending extra energy they would have saved had they not gone for the lazy option. Yet again, they are too dense to understand this simple fact. On the sidewalk, for instance, Hong Kongers always opt for the shortest way between a point A and a point B. Which makes sense. At first glance. But, remember, Hong Kong is an overcrowded city. And so are its sidewalks.

The shortest way is often also the most crowded one. Now, when a Hong Konger is walking in one direction and someone -who obviously has the same mindset- comes in the opposite direction, they will force their way through, rather than make a step aside and avoid incoming traffic. It seems the phrase “path of least resistance” doesn’t exist in Cantonese. 

Yes, Hong Kongers are so lazy that they manage to be inefficient in their laziness. Yet, somehow, coming from Hong Kongers, that is not even surprising.

HONG KONG – An Air-Conditioning Nightmare

Air-conditioners defacing buildings in Sham Shui Po. 13 November 2019. Photo: Gweilo Rant.

In Hong Kong, beside the mandatory umbrella, you better carry a jacket and a scarf wherever you go. Yes, in Summer as well. Not so much because of the weather: temperatures easily soar past the 35 degrees centigrade mark in Summer and very rarely drop below 10 degrees in Winter. No, in fact you’ll only rarely need to put on your jacket in the street. That’s what you would do anywhere else in the world. In Hong Kong, however, things are done the other way round: T-shirts are worn in the street; jackets, coats, and scarves are worn at home and at the office. Hong Kong logic at its best.

The reason for that rather peculiar dressing routine? The air-conditioner… Similarly to the sidewalk, in Hong Kong, the air-conditioner is the kind of stuff nightmares are made of. Not so much because of the device in itself; air-conditioners, after all, are very useful in Hong Kong. Imperative, even, if you intend to survive the Hong Kongese Summer.

The problem with the air-conditioner lays in its overuse by the Hong Kongers. When boarding a bus, in Summertime, you board a fridge on wheels. When you get off the bus, on the contrary, you’re hit by a 35 degrees and 90% humidity heat wall. Rather unpleasant. On the MTR, the issue is somewhat lessened by the buffer created by the MTR stations. This leads to the nonsensical result that, in Hong Kong, you’re more likely to catch a cold in Summertime than you are in Wintertime.

Speaking of Winter… On average, temperatures settle between 15 and 20 degrees centigrade between December and March. On extremely rare occasions, temperatures may drop below 10 degrees centigrade. Far from cold compared to temperatures in many countries, but far from warm as well -let alone hot.

Yet, you may be sure of one thing: no matter where you go, no matter how cold it is, the air-conditioning will be on. And I’m not talking about an inverter of some sort heating up the ambient air. No, I’m talking about the basic air-conditioner blowing cold air in your face. Now, you may think Hong Kongers are tough. You may think Hong Kongers are impervious to the cold. And you’d be very wrong. Hong Kongers are world-leading pussies.

As soon as temperatures drop below 25 degrees centigrade jackets pop up in the streets. When temperatures drop below 20, coats and scarves are taken out of the wardrobe. In fact, Hong Kongers switch on the air-conditioning in the dead of Winter, not because there are tough, but precisely because they are pussies. Ask any of your Hong Kongese colleagues or acquaintances why they switch on the air-conditioing in Winter and the answer you’re most likely to get is: “I can’t breathe without air-conditioning”. I kid you not. Whatever it may mean, Hong Kongers must be the only people on Earth who cannot breathe without air-conditioning. Pussy level legend!

You’d think that opening the window would get you fresh air whilst being more eco-friendly. But Hong Kongers don’t understand the meaning of eco-friendliness -not even in Cantonese. Or, rather, they simply don’t give a fuck. As a result, they switch on the air-conditioning. Instinctively. All the time. In fact, you’d often see Hong Kongers let the engine of their car run idle… so they can enjoy the air-conditioning whilst waiting for time to pass. Yes, in Hong Kong we are reaching levels of pussiness seen nowhere and never before.

But wait! There is more. When you point out to a Hong Konger that it is quite cold in the office, he’ll automatically answer that you should put on a jacket. I mean, you should wear a jacket… inside! As in wearing a jacket inside the office. No matter how many times you repeat this sentence, it still remains as nonsensical as it sounds.

In most countries in the world, for millennia, people have been building houses in various shapes and sizes to find shelter from the cold. In modern times, people try to be comfortable inside, and take off as many layers of clothes as decency permits. Not in Hong Kong. But then again, looking at apartments in Hong Kong, one readily realizes that coziness, aesthetic appeal, and comfort is not exactly a priority. Quite the opposite, in fact.

Hong Kong’s motto could very well be: “The Uglier, The Better”. Buildings are a perfect example of that: they are ugly. Just, horribly ugly. Yet, Hong Kongers managed to make them look even uglier. “Impossible,” you say? Well, instead of concealing ugly air-conditioning units, as any normal person would, Hong Kongers have taken the habit to install them… straight on their windows, for everyone to behold. Better still, on newer buildings, “designers” add ledges directly next to each window, designed specifically for air-conditioning units to be placed on. Practical, of course. An eyesore? Quite the euphemism.

But there is still more! Yes, the air-conditioner in Hong Kong is the gift that keeps on giving. Hong Kongers being Hong Kongers, craftsmanship and build quality is not exactly one of their strengths. Not the least effort is put into hiding plumbing, and the Internet wiring is nothing but mayhem (to name a few examples). And the air-conditioner is no exception.

So much so that in Hong Kong, in Summertime, it rains non-stop on the sidewalk. Only on the sidewalks. Now, that rain doesn’t fall from the clouds, as it does in the rest of the world. No, in Hong Kong, that rain falls straight from the windows. And, yes, as you may have guessed, it falls more precisely from the air-conditioning units. In Hong Kong, technicians who install air-conditioning units are not even capable of linking the air-conditioners to an evacuation system properly.

Now, Hong Kongers being pussies, this leads to one very interesting consequence. In Summertime, there is one full meter of the sidewalk Hong Kongers refuse to walk on because… water may fall on their heads. One drop at a time. Scary, isn’t it? I mean, drops of water falling on your head. Terrifying! But this is actually a godsend to the Gweilo.

See, on top of being pussies, Hong Kongers are slooow. And their walking skills are below par. As Hong Kongers cram themselves together on the narrow sidewalks, trying to avoid… a few drops of water… Gweilos now have a one-meter-wide lane to walk on unhindered. Well, perhaps we should thank Hong Kong’s poor craftsmanship, after all?

HONG KONG – A Banking System from Another Age

Line forming in front of Bank of China ATM (left) while Hang Seng Bank ATMs (background) are free. Sham Shui Po MTR station. 4 December 2019. Photo: Gweilo Rant.

Hong Kong is known all over the world primarily as Asia’s main financial hub. And, walking down the streets of Central, it is obvious that finance takes a central place -no pun intended- in Hong Kong’s economy. Bank of China Tower, Bank of China Building, HSBC Main Building, International Finance Centre One and Two, Bank of America Tower,… The list of buildings named after major financial institutions goes on and on. One may think that a city that takes finance so seriously would be home to a state of the art banking system. Well, you’d be surprised.

Walking up to any ATM in Hong Kong, one readily notices that something doesn’t seem quite right. You may be in Asia’s financial capital, it doesn’t take away that Hong Kong’s twentieth-century-style ATMs will jump out right at you. With their bulky CRTs from the 1990s and lack of touchscreens -obviously- it’s hard to imagine the banks those ATMs belong to are the beating hearts of one of the major financial places in the world.

Now, for some reason, in Hong Kong, lots of transactions are made at the counter (perhaps the ancient ATMs are part of the reason). And, even though each bank has branches scattered all over Hong Kong, it is not unusual to be stuck in long lines, waiting for your turn, to complete a transaction that should take less than a minute… but usually requires five minutes or more. Not that the bank employee is overly talkative. Quite the opposite. No, it’s just that, in Hong Kong, any transaction requires time. A lot of time. At other times, however, you’ll simply be told that the (basic) transaction you need to make… cannot be processed at your bank’s counter.

Cashing in a cheque in Hong Kong, for instance, is quite an adventure. If you’re lucky, the cheque you received was issued by the bank you have an account in. In such case, cash in your cheque like you would in any country in the West. Don’t expect the process to be fast, though. If, on the other hand, the cheque happens to have been issued by a bank other than the one you have an account in… get ready to waste a lot of time.

First off, as any normal person, you’d go to your usual branch. And you’ll have to wait for your turn. Now, one would normally not mention the queuing process, but Hong Kongers are not very fast (and that’s a euphemism), which means you’ll have to wait. For a long time if you’re unlucky and the line is long, which is usually the case during lunch break. Eventually, you’ll make it to the counter. Hopefully before your body has started mummifying. But, sorry, the cheque you’re trying to cash in was issued by another bank. “So,” you may ask, “what’s the matter?”. Well, in Hong Kong, to cash in a cheque you need to go to the bank that issued said cheque, which makes the entire cheque system utterly pointless. But, more importantly, what if you don’t have an account in that bank? In such case, don’t worry; the procedure is simple. Lengthy, but simple.

All you need to do is cash in your cheque at the bank that issued said cheque (after you’ve stood in line forever). Once you have collected the sum indicated on the cheque, go back to your bank and deposit the money in your bank account (after you’ve stood in line forever). Yes, in Hong Kong, one of the main financial places in the world, a two-step process -go to bank and cash in a cheque directly on your account- was turned into a four-step process that can take up to an hour to complete. Hong Kong’s efficiency at its finest.

But wait, there is more: making a transfer from one bank to the other. “What about it?” you may ask. “Go to the ATM and make your transfer.” Yes, that works… but not in Hong Kong. Sure, in Europe, it is possible to make a transfer (free of charge) from one European country to the other using a basic ATM. But in Hong Kong, on the other hand, you can’t even make a transfer from one Hong Kong-based bank to another Hong Kong-based bank. No, in Hong Kong, you have to withdraw money from your account, walk to the bank you wish to transfer that money to, go to the counter and (manually) make a deposit on the account you needed to transfer said money on (after you’ve stood in line forever, obviously). Somehow, in Hong Kong, transferring money on an account in the bank located across the street is as convoluted a process as transferring money to the other side of the world. That’s the power of the Hong Kongese efficiency.

Luckily, online banking has made this mess much easier to deal with. It is now possible to transfer money from your account to any other account in the world from the comfort of your home. All you have to do is follow the instructions on your bank’s website and setup your online banking account. And, now, you’re ready to go. Kind of. See, to have access to all the features you need (transfers, international transfers, etc.), you will still need to call the bank to tell them you wish to activate those features… as if setting up your online banking account wasn’t a sign you may, perhaps, want to use those features. Oh! And, of course, you’ll have to wait for an extra week for the security device to be delivered to you before you can use all of those features. Ah, Hong Kong’s efficiency…

The simple act of withdrawing money can also be an infuriating operation. Although, not as much as the previously mentioned transactions. When you need to withdraw money, in Europe, you go to the first ATM you see, regardless of the owner of the ATM, and withdraw the amount you need. Not in Hong Kong, of course. That would be too convenient. In Hong Kong, you can only withdraw money from ATMs that belong to the bank you have an account in. Not too annoying, but when you need cash and the only ATMs you find belong to banks B, C, or D while you have an account in bank A, it can quickly get pretty frustrating. It also means you better have an account in one of the major banks. Otherwise, looking for an ATM to withdraw cash will quickly become a nightmare.

Then, there is the Hong Kong credit card system… Now, the system works like anywhere else. But, if for any reason you have to use your credit card at the supermarket or at 7 Eleven, you better be patient. For some reason, the Hong Kong banking system has managed to turn one of the fastest and most efficient payment methods in the world into one of the slowest and most infuriating ones. And if ever the customer in front of you at 7 Eleven unveils his credit card… you know you’re in for a looong wait. Yet, somehow, people in Hong Kong still use their credit cards -not too often luckily- to buy a pack of chewing gum. Don’t ask why. Perhaps they have time to spare.

Oh, wait a second! Before you leave, did I tell you about the Octopus Card? Well, there is nothing to complain about the Octopus Card. Whenever you need to pay for something, present your card to the Octopus reader at the counter, and the amount to be paid is automatically subtracted from the balance on your Octopus Card. A two-second process, tops. In fact, it is one of the most efficient payment methods in the world. So efficient that Hong Kongers had to mess it up. Obviously.

See, to make payments more convenient, geniuses thought it necessary to come up with extra payment methods. Because cash, credit cards, debit cards, and the Octopus Card were, obviously, not enough. They had to find a way to confuse Hong Kongers even more than they already were when paying.

Now, you need to understand that, in Hong Kong, people live with their faces glued to their smartphones. So, they came up with a payment method that would enable people to pay without having to take their eyes off their screen: the mobile payment, among which Wechat Pay and AliPay are the most popular. Great, isn’t it? All you have to do is present a QR-code appearing on your screen to a scanner.

Except that, in order to pay, you first need to open the Wechat Pay or AliPay app, find the QR-code icon, and present it to the scanner. Straight forward, isn’t it? Now, you may think that, considering the amount of time spent by Hong Kongers on their smartphones, they’d be pros at using those apps. Alas, you’d be sadly disappointed. Somehow, it always takes Hong Kongers forever to find that QR-code. And they always struggle to present said QR-code to the scanner in the right angle.

Why not just stick to the Octopus Card? It works flawlessly. No need to fiddle with apps and QR-codes and scanners. Now, granted, it is not as high-tech as paying with your phone. After all, it’s just a piece of plastic. And it doesn’t even have a chip. But it works! Flawlessly. Every time. And it is fast. Oh, I love Hong Kong’s (lack of) common sense.

HONG KONG – I Don’t Give a Fuck

Empty Cups Left Behind at Starbucks in Ngau Tau Kok, Kowloon. 19 November 2019. Photo: Gweilo Rant.

The art of not-giving-a-fuck may seem like the easiest form of art to master. And yet… Over the last century-and-a-half, two schools of thought, in stark opposition with one another, have developed: a Western school, on the one hand; and a Hong Kong school, on the other hand. And, sorry to say so, Gweilos, but Hong Kongers have perfected the art of the I-don’t-give-a-fuck to a level you can only dream of.

In the West, the I-don’t-give-a-fuck lifestyle is usually carried by teenagers, people in their early twenties, and marginals. However, their behavior is more-often-than-not shrugged off by the rest of the Western society as that of an insignificant fraction of said society. Moreover, said youngsters usually stop not giving a fuck the moment they reach adulthood and found a family, leaving only the marginals to pass on that lifestyle to the next generation of I-don’t-give-a-fuckers. Marginals who, usually, don’t fare too well in life.

The reason young Western I-don’t-give-a-fuckers eventually abandon this lifestyle is simple: they never fully embraced the I-don’t-give-a-fuck philosophy to begin with. Rather, their attitude is merely a posture. In fact, it is precisely because they do give a fuck that they embrace this lifestyle. The Western I-don’t-give-a-fuck philosophy is a direct reaction to the society in which the proponents of that philosophy live: a society which rules and codes they reject; a society which codes and rules they have to accept and live by eventually.

Now, if you want to understand the true meaning of the I-don’t-give-a-fuck philosophy, you’re going to have to fly across half the Earth. Although, before we can pursue the study of the I-don’t-give-a-fuck lifestyle in Hong Kong, one very important point must be clarified first. As opposed to the Western I-don’t-give-a-fuck philosophy, the Hong Kong attitude toward not-giving-a-fuck can’t exactly be called a philosophy, as it would imply a conscious study of the subject. Or, it must be a conscious reaction to something, at the very least.

In Hong Kong, however, the I-don’t-give-a-fuck lifestyle means exactly what it means: I don’t give a fuck. The Hong Kongese attitude is not a reaction to anything. It is not a rejection of anything either. It simply is the consequence of Hong Kongers… well, not giving a fuck about anything. It is Hong Kong’s way of life.

Moreover and, contrary to the West, the Hong Kongese I-don’t-give-a-fuck lifestyle is acquired at birth and does not disappear until death. Or, rather, it is taught by the parents… Well, not exactly taught, as this would imply a conscious effort from the parents. Let’s say, it is passed on from one generation to the other.

This attitude can be witnessed on a daily basis in quite a few different situations, among which (but far from limited to):

  • bumping into people: in most countries people avoid bumping into one another. And if ever they happened to bump into one another, they would either apologize; or a confrontation may ensue. In Hong Kong, people don’t even turn around in such circumstance. And they don’t argue. They keep on walking. They just don’t give a fuck about bumping into people or being bumped into.
  • People in need: when a person in need (elderly person, pregnant woman, etc.) boards a packed MTR, count the number of people who are ready to offer their seat to that person in need. Usually, none. And when they do, it’s often a Gweilo. Or an elderly man offering his seat to a pregnant woman or a parent carrying a young child. The younger generations -under the age of 65, that is- simply don’t give a fuck.
  • Cutting in front of people on sidewalks: when a Hong Konger needs to get somewhere, he gets there. And nothing can get in his way. Or rather, he’s oblivious to anything that can get in his way. Bear in mind that nothing ever happens consciously when a Hong Konger is out on the sidewalk; things just happen to happen. Exiting a shop, the Hong Konger doesn’t waste time looking if people are walking on the sidewalk. He gets out. And if that means forcing people to slow down, who gives a fuck? And if a Hong Konger needs to enter a building, but you’re coming in the opposite direction, why would he turn behind you? No, cutting your way and turning in front of you seems to be the only sensible thing to do in Hong Kong. And if you end up crashing into him? Who gives a fuck?
  • Stopping in the middle of the sidewalk: usually, when people need to do something that requires some attention and they need to stop, they get on the side of the sidewalk so as to not block the way. Not in an overcrowded city such as Hong Kong, though. In Hong Kong, when people need to do something, they do it. Now and then. Right on the spot. And if that implies standing in the way of people? Oh, well, whatever. No, just kidding, a Hong Konger wouldn’t even bother to think about the implications his stopping in the middle of the sidewalk may have. He simply doesn’t give a fuck.
  • Please let passengers exit first: whomever takes the MTR has heard that announcement time and again. If you understand Chinese, you even hear it in three languages: Cantonese, Mandarin, and English -in that specific order. Every time a train enters a station. Yet, who gives a fuck about letting passengers exit first? Well, not exactly. In Hong Kong, as a passenger, you have precisely 1.5 seconds to get off the train. After that, Hong Kong’s true nature takes the upper hand, and Hong Kongers no longer give a fuck for those poor souls who haven’t made it out of the train in time.
  • Parking on a bus stop: In civilised countries, people don’t park on bus stops. They may embark or disembark people, but they will not bluntly park. In Hong Kong, however, nobody gives a fuck about bus stops. Or any other road markings for that matter. Wherever you go, in Hong Kong, you will see cars and delivery trucks parked on bus stops and on the first driving lane. And no one seems to care. Neither the people waiting for the bus, nor the bus drivers. And least of all the police.
Bus embarking passengers on second lane as cars are parked on bus stop. Sham Shui Po, Kowloon. 21 December 2019. Photo: Gweilo Rant.

Now, the line between the I-don’t-give-a-fuck attitude and downright laziness is sometimes very thin. And in Hong Kong, that line is very easily crossed. It must be noted, though, that both attitudes probably derive from a same utter lack of respect for other people.

Both situations depicted below are perfect examples of Hong Kongese laziness converging toward I-don’t-give-a-fuckery. The end result may seem rather peculiar, stupefying, and perhaps even shocking to whomever is not warned beforehand:

  • The shopping cart: what to do with your shopping cart when you’re done with the groceries? Well, you could return it to the cart corral, like any civilised person would, of course. Or, another option -the option Hong Kongers always opt for- would be to just leave it there, at the checkout counter. Who gives a fuck? Someone will take care of it once carts have piled up anyway. Except that this last thought wouldn’t even spring in a Hong Konger’s mind. They just leave their carts there. Because. Full stop.
  • Clean up after oneself at a fast food joint: in most countries in the world, people clean up after themselves when they are done eating their meal or enjoying their coffee. Not in Hong Kong. In Hong Kong, when you are done with your meal or coffee, you get up, and you leave. Final stop. No afterthought. Your tray? Your empty cups? None of your business. Someone will clean it up, eventually. Who gives a fuck?

Those are only but a few examples of Hong Kong’s mastery of the I-don’t-give-a-fuck attitude. See, if ever you face a situation in which you think about not giving a fuck, you already failed. Thinking is giving a fuck. And Westerners think too much. Should I or shouldn’t I? Too late, you did give a fuck. Now, all you can do is pretend you don’t give a fuck so as to give some meaning to your (in)action. This negates the whole purpose of the I-don’t-give-a-fuck philosophy.

The Hong Konger will never be riddled with those questions: should I or shouldn’t I? To the Hong Konger, answering this question does not come to mind, since the question itself never comes to mind. The Hong Konger just acts. Or doesn’t, depending on the situation. He does not need to think about it. It all happens because it happens to happen. Unconsciously. He simply doesn’t give a fuck.

Now, if you decide to follow this blog, you will come to notice that the Hong Kongese I-don’t-give-a-fuck attitude towards pretty much every aspect of life will become somewhat of a recurring theme. A theme you, Gweilos who have decided to live in Hong Kong, will have to learn -or have already learned- to live with.

 

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